To Be Sexist
by AnonymousKenta
Summary: Kagome was perfectly content with lonliness, she was sexist and happy. She wasn't looking for love but maybe she's found it? Disclaimer: I don't own anything, if I did Kagome and Inuyasha would be happily married already ;p
1. Chapter 1

Prologue: Just Another Story

My name is Kagome Higurashi.

I'm 16 years old and rather small for my age (and I'm not just talking about my height). Yes, I was a 14-year-old homecoming queen wannabe.

Two years later and now I'm the kinda girl who understands that if shop mannequins were real women, they'd be too thin to menstruate (I mean _Hello_! There are three billion women in the world who don't look like super models and only six that do.) But hey, if your feeling fat just make sure you always stand next to a heavily pregnant woman; take one every where you go. That's my advice. But who am to I give advice?

My motto in life is . . . if it fits, don't wear it. I like to wear my clothes baggy enough to cover an aircraft carrier; teamed with voluminous underwear, my panty-line is almost always visible. I have a positive allergy to G-strings.

Nothing, I'll repeat, nothing is getting shoved up my ass.

So now you might wonder how I went from a wannabe sex goddess, to a girl who shaves her legs to the hemline in summer and becomes too lazy to do it in winter.

Well that's simple to explain. It started a year and a half ago when my mother turned 39. I swear to you, for females, turning 40 is more dangerous then a beach thong in a big surf. I personally blame Mother Nature (two-faced bitch) and Father Time (bloody bastard). It's like they took her into a dark alley and beat the crap out of her. So back to point, after my mother turned 39, my father left her for his 24-year-old dental hygienist (yep the story that's been told a million times yet some how I never thought it'd happen to my family).

I'm sure you wondering how that made me go from high heels, to sneakers. Well after watching my mother go though all that, it made me think...Women have this inability to say 'no' to beautification assistants.

'Pureed pig erections?

Yes, please. Ground sheep embryos in a handy handbag-size dispenser?

Hell yes.

Good god if a beauty expert told us to eat our own sanitary towel for invigorated complexion, we'd damn well do it! Yet, there was no miracle cream that could prevent my father from leaving my mother.

So what the hell was I wasting my time for? There was no point. Sure you can look good for a few years but then you turn 40 and he leaves you for his ugly (yet younger) dental hygienist or maybe he'll leave you for your kid's school teacher? The point is he'll leave.

I'm not sexist. I'm realistic. There's a difference.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter one- step one.

It was a typical Monday morning and I was attempting a quick clean-up. My kitchen, like me, is comfortable with its lot in life. There were coffee rings on every surface and a chaos of kitchen magnets attaching homework schedules to a sympathetic fridge. I was just removing the brown blobs in the sugar bowl made from wet cereal spoons, when my older half sister, Kikyou, breezed by for a quick hit of caffeine before she sauntered back up the stairs to finish her beauty routine. Taking a seat on the kitchen bar stool she seemed to be inspecting me, like she did every morning.

As half sisters we loved each other, but we were insufferable friends. Apart from mutual disappointment in our father, you couldn't get more opposite siblings. Kikyou, with her slanted luminous grey eyes and six feet of slender, photogenic flesh doesn't look anything like a sister of mine (why was I the sister to fall out of the plain Jane tree and get hit by every bloody branch, god damn it?). But our differences go far beyond looks. She's calm (some would call it emotionless), collected, and most of all beautiful. Who could notice me, next to her? It's not like I'm ugly, its just I'm not Kikyou.

"That's not what your wearing today, is it?" she asked, with a cold laugh. I looked down to examine myself. I personally didn't see anything wrong with my Rolling Stones t-shirt, baggy jogging pants or my black Convers.

"Yeah. what about it? I'm comfy," my sister rolled her heavily mascara eyes. With their tonnage of eye-shadow, it was a feat of optical weight-lifting, worthy of an Olympic status.

"I don't care if people like me or not. I like myself. And I know my limitations. I don't expect to win the Nobel prize for my astrophysics. I'll never be an astronaut. Or do a nude film scene. And come to think of it, I'll never have sex with Ben Affleck. (I will never be beautiful I thought to myself)... But I'm not terrified of what others think of me." I paused for dramatic effect "_I_ love me the way I am" Kikyou arched her topiarized eye brows.

"Show me a women who's happy with herself and I'll show you the electroconvulsive therapy scorch marks." I laughed with a mixture of affection and despair.

"Kikyou, you're really sad, do you know that? Really sad and pathetic. You may of noticed but when have I ever cared?"Her face showed the slightest amount of amusement, as she ate a crumb off the breadboard -which took care of breakfast.

"I'd hate to be you." she stated simply as she got off the bar stool and headed up the stairs.

I checked my watch and realized that I had exactly thirty seconds to remove squashed bananas from the bottom of my school bag (don't ask), comb my hair, brush my teeth and leave for school. I could ask my mother to drop me off, but she'd only accidentally leave me at the hairdressers. Having the maternal instincts of a guppy fish, my mother has spent the last sixteen years looking for a loop-hole in my birth certificate. There was NO point in asking her for anything. I was ready to admit defeat, when my neighbor from next door climbed through the window.

"Good morning sun shine." Miroku grinned.

"You do know I have a door?" I asked as I rushed around getting ready.

"What are you doing?" he asked ignoring my question.

"What? Never seen a girl brush her teeth and hair at the same time?" I asked mouth full of tooth paste. "I'm so late." I complained. He plucked the brush out of my hand and replaced it with a breakfast muffin.

"How about I drive you to school?" he asked brushing my hair into a low pony tail. Miroku was coming to my rescue like he always did. He'd assisted in the delivery of our cat's kittens. He even came with me to try on swimming suits, threatening to kill anyone who attempted to get into the fitting room. I kissed him on the cheek

"Oh, Miroku would you? I'm so late for school." I looked affectionately into his dark brown eyes, the eyes of a stray cat. And he was a stray, really. Abandoned by his father, he had been put into care at the age of four with his uncle after his mum died. Once I asked him why he wanted to be a writer and he replied nonchalantly "oh, huge psychological dysfunction" not that he had much success. I'm afraid Miroku is to literature what the Apollo 13 was to space travel.

"So are you coming to the game tonight?" Miroku asked tossing his car keys up and snatching them out of the air.

"Do I ever go to the 'game'?" I asked making quotations in the air.

"You can't stay cooped up inside, all the time. You need to be more outgoing. I mean the home shopping channel operators are starting to recognize your voice."

"I am outgoing.....only inwardly." I protested. "It's not like I'm socially deficient."Miroku rolled his eyes mellow dramatically.

"Come on let's go."

* * *

At school I was greeted by my best friend (at least my best girl friend), Sango. A women who could put a builder in a headlock, as soon as his lips so much as formed in to a wolf whistle. Which is an unfortunate thing for Miroku (one thing I forgot to mention about Miroku is that - though I love him- he's a womanizing bastard).

SLAP!

"Next time I'll go for the balls!" Sango hissed at Miroku after he made his first attempt -of the day- at her butt. I sighed before turning back to my homework due for next period.

"Miroku, you need to get a girlfriend." I told him, rolling my eyes absent mindedly.

"Why?" he asked with a blank stare

"Why?! So you can stop groping my ass!" Sango snapped

"Okay, I'll get a girlfriend if you can riddle me this." He said in a dead pan voice. I nodded in way of an unspoken agreement.

"Why be tied down to one 'ass'" he put emphases on 'ass' while making quotations in the air. "When a fine enable bachelor, such as my self, can any 'ass' in this school?" he finished looking quiet smug sitting down in the seat to me. Sango got up speaking dramatically loud.

"What kinda of slut would fall for that?"she asked angrily before leaving early for her first period. Shacking my head in pity, I patted his arm.

"So clueless." I said getting up. Really how could anyone so smart, be so dumb?

"What?" he asked following me out the door.

"No, really, tell me!" he asked repeatedly as he followed me down the hall.

RING, RING, the bell notified us of class.

"Bye Miroku," I called over my shoulder.

"No tell me!" he pleaded one last time before he was out of ear shot.

* * *

R&R


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter two- If I were a dog!.

Isn't it funny how fate has a way for fucking with our mind? My first two classes were so dull it made me want to stab myself with a blunt object (not to get graphic). But of course fate had to intervene. Now, I don't want to get all star cross lover on you, because believe me it's nothing like that. I just wanted to point out that Karma's (pardon my french in advance) a mother freaken' bitch.

* * *

"Two classes down, two to go." I encouraged myself as I entered the art room. Art; the one time a day, I can do little to no thinking, the one time a day I can have 'Kagome' time. One time a day I can sit by myself and not worry about Miroku telling me I'm socially dysfunctional.

But 'me' time, was not meant to be.

There sitting at MY table was a silver haired boy.

"Hello?" I asked in way of a question.

"Hi" he grunted back, as if I was the one intruding on _his_ space.

Oh no, I was not going to let him challenge my authority at _my_ table. It had been my table all year and my god, I was not going to lose it now. Not when I had worked so hard to get a little table all to myself in the corner of the room.

"I'm Kagome." I introduced myself, taking my seat on the other side of the table (by doing so I was showing him that I was not backing down, this was my table, If I were a dog, I would have peed on it). He simply raised hand in a way of another 'hello' and dismissed me. This meant war.

I examined him as I took out my art supples, it wasn't long before I realized I wasn't the only one analyzing the new comer. It wasn't like he blended in. His silver hair and handsome features made him the focal point of the class. He turned to face me and I snapped my head to the front of the class.

'Good going Kagome, next time why don't you put a sign up' I thought to myself.

"Do you have a pencil I can use?" he asked obivious to the fact I was shamefully staring at him.

"Um, err-" I had lost my train of thought. It was his eyes, fiery amber, vibrant and beautiful.

"Sorry?" I asked needing a reminder of what he just asked

"Pencil." he repeated

"Here." I said handing him the on I was using

"Thanks" and with that he rummaged though his pockets before finding a pair of ear buds. Shoving them in his ears, he turned up the music loud enough to make Helen Keller go deaf.

* * *

As the class moved on I stopped to examine my art. Quite pleased with my disfigured drawing of a dog I looked over to the silver haired boy's sketch. With all the confidence in the world.

I wanted to crawl under a rock and die, while I was happy with my sausage on four sticks. He on the other hand seem displeased by his drawing of a beautiful women wearing a kimono and holding a lantern. I felt like crap, here I was think how great my art was, then realizing I only thought that because I never had any one to compare my art with, and I was happy with that, I wanted to go back into my own world, the world were I was the best, and only artist.

I could hear the girls behind me, (and all over the room) whispering about this silver haired boy. I couldn't understand why, he wasn't any thing special. I did a sideways glance at him to see what all the fuss was about.

'Lets see,' I thought to my self as I did a mental check list, 'all right; Tall with out being to tall, amazing eyes, lean yet muscular body, the kind of hair girls adored and envied at the same time. Not to mention the mysterious aura around him' damn!

He's the perfect male specimen.

* * *

The minutes seemed to tick by dangerously slow. Until "Ring, Ring, Ring" the bell called out its musical message.

'Ok Kagome, three down, one to go!' I thought to myself practically running out of the class. Despite my speed somehow the amber eyed boy was out the class first cutting me off from the door, this guy wasn't trying to make my life easy was he?

* * *

R&R:)


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter Three- What Cow Manure Can Do For The Skin

"You have to try this." Kikyou said, pushing me down in a sitting position.

"It's the latest miracle cream" she told me. I scoffed

"The miracle is you paid for this junk." I told her rolling my eyes, "really what's in this stuff, it smells horrible."

"It's a all natural mixture composed of ginseng, mint leaves, berry roots and-"

"Cow manure" I cut her off, "this literally smells like crap."

"Look here." she said handing me a small round mirror.

This was the cruelest mirror I have ever set my gaze on. It showed every thing; every bump, every zit I didn't know I had, every imperfection.

"You make me want to slit myself, did you know that?" I asked dead pan

"Now look here." she said holding the mirror to her face. Nothing, not a bump nor any thing else but perfect pale skin.

"I dislike you right now."

"This is what 'cow crap' can do" She scoffed at me, as she rubbed the brown , greenish mixture all over my face.

"It burns" I told her, attempting to wipe it of my face, but she smacked my hand a way.

"Its suppose to burn." she told me placing her hands on her hips.

"All right, in the morning your face will be visibly smoother." she promised.

I groaned

"Do I have to?" I whined

"Yes." Kikyou said firmly. I know that tone oh too well, that was her 'if you disobey me, I'll hand you your ass on a silver platter'. But she was to emotionless to use those words

I let out a defeated sigh "fine."

* * *

"AAAAAHHHH!"

I had woken up during the night to use the facilities, glimpsing in the bathroom mirror for a fraction of a second. I had to do a double take. There staring back at me was a women, who looked a lot like me, but she couldn't be me! Because her face was full of big red, bumpy rashes. As though seeing myself in the mirror reminded me how much this newly formed rash hurt, and itched. Thus the scream.

"What is it?" Kikyou asked bursting though the door. She stopped. She stared. She laughed. She laughed very hard.

"No, stop, its not funny." I sputtered out. It was pointless, the more I wanted her to stop the more she laughed

"Oh my god Kagome, how will you ever show your face again?" she askedThe bitterness in me began to build up.

"This all your fault!" I screamed. She chuckled a little to herself, as if remembering an inside joke.

"Oh hun, I'm afraid your face was fucked up before I did a thing to it. Frankly this is a improvement."

"LEAVE MY FACE OUT OF THIS!" I yelled.

"What am I suppose to do?" I asked seriously. Sighing she grabbed a bottle of pink ointment.

"Rub it all over your face, in the morning we'll see how things go from there." she said leaving the bath room

I sniffed the pink gunk, 'Its poisoned' I thought to myself, and I was probably right. But once again, I follow blindly "typical Kagome" I thought to my self out loud

"A stranger says 'want some candy, I say bring it in'" I said out loud as I rubbed the pink ointment on my rashes. To my surprise it began to work right away.

* * *

Though I felt better in the morning, I was still in no condition to go to school, on the account that I still had a great big bumpy red rash all over my face.

Miroku stopped by in the morning to pick me up for school. He did not help

"WOW" he said utterly amazed.

"Is it contagious?" he asked

"No." I said flatly

"Can I touch it?" he said hopefully

"No."

"You're no fun." he said crossing his arm,

"I know."

"If I had a horrible rash I would let you touch it."

I sighed "I'm sure you would."

"I'll remember that next time." he said sticking his nose in the air

"Wait!" I yelled getting his undying action

"What?"

"Did you say, horrible?" I wined

"Umm,."

"No way im going to school, ever again."

Miroku checked his watch.

"Well I have to head out, see you later tonight." he said waving

"Oh Kagome it's not all that bad" After he left, I felt the shame of the world land on my shoulders.

"Where's a paper bag when you need one?" I asked the universe.


End file.
